Lead at Any Level®

Essential Skills for Inclusive Leaders

Leadership

Selling to the Heart (Not the Head)

· · Leave a Comment

Selling one’s ideas is a daily occurrence for many professionals. In my case, as a diversity consultant, it is often incumbent upon me to sell my diversity training and consulting services. To be honest, when I go to sell a proposal, for example, I often fall into the same trap that I will I caution against in this article. The trap I fall into, and caution strongly against, is relying on business logic to carry my argument. Too often I feel compelled to simply demonstrate return on investment (ROI), instead of aiming for the heart.

A Common “Selling” Mistake

From my perspective, using statistical evidence to sell diversity is a no-brainer. I can cite infinite statistics supporting the benefits of good diversity and inclusion practices. But I do this more often than I should, at least more often than I make the real case, that being the human argument.

I recently decided to write a blog article about empathy. While contemplating the topic in a coffee shop (my go-to creative space) I actually witnessed something I thought would make a great story to lead off with. However, rather than simply using that story as the full thrust of the article, I caught myself immediately going to google to try to find some compelling facts and figures concerning the science of empathy or what have you. Of course, there is plenty of hard evidence in support of empathy, yet, and especially so on this topic, I initially turned away from the most compelling argument. That of course was the incident itself that played out right before my eyes – the human story that I had actually witnessed and could relate to others. I almost blew it but caught myself, and hence perhaps the impetus to this article.

Take a Cue from Mr. Rogers

A very dear friend, colleague, and just an all-around good guy, Richard Brundage (author of The Heart in Communicating) tells a story in his communications workshops about Fred Rogers (yes, Mr. Rogers) addressing pediatricians as a keynote speaker at a large conference. What would Mr. Rogers have to say to an auditorium of physicians?

He talked about children. It was not a talk about procedures or drugs or billing or costs, the very things too many of the doctors got caught up in; but rather why these humans were there to begin with – they were there because they cared about children. Too long and too often these professionals were wrapped up in their own heads. When Mr. Rogers reminded them of their own humanity, there was not a dry eye in the house. He reminded them of their hearts and touched them there very acutely, and affectedly. The heart is a powerful catalyst.

The Science of Selling

That is what stories do, they actually reach a different part of the brain – the part responsible for emotion. Stories appeal to both logic and emotion. When listening to stories with rich imagery and meaning, the brain is stimulated as a whole. When this happens, emotions and logic are in play.

The London School of Business did a study (see article on Tenfold.com) and found that people retain 65 to 70 percent of information shared through stories while only 5 to10 percent of information is retained through the dry presentation of data and statistics.

Be More Persuasive

People make decisions in general with both logic and emotions in play, and more so the latter than the former. Consider how many people DON’T buy into diversity messaging, say LGBTQ for example, by logical argument alone. That is until they hear a compassionate story of a real person, especially a story of someone they know and can relate to. The heart is the mechanism of change.

Most importantly here, storytelling yields cooperative behaviors. Stories “motivate voluntary cooperation” as described in a 2014 HBR Article. There is much power in storytelling in many professional settings.

My experience is that in networking, building associations, building relationships, and forging teams when I led off with talking more personal than professional I made headway much quicker. Both personal and professional bonds forged deeper. I was more professionally effective when I was more personally affective. I see telling personal stories as the mortar between the bricks and make it a conscious practice to include them as much as possible.

How to Connect with Your Audience

The challenge in communication is to connect to the heart and not to the mind…

Why Do They Care?

Job one, get to know what others value – what they care about. For example, I worked for a director with a son who was an accomplished figure skater. I knew I could get his attention by first talking about skating, or anything related to it, prior to getting down to business. But I also give this huge caution – this is not about placating, or even greasing the wheels. This has to be honest interest, and authentic give and take of sharing stories, not simply a means of getting intel or opening another’s ears. Do not be insincere in this – it will show (eventually), no matter how careful in subterfuge you believe yourself to be. If you can’t be sincere in this skip this – really, I very often do just that. The goal is after all for your authenticity to make the human connection with emotion as described.

Think Like a Child

Think like a kid. Recall what is fun and/or interesting – don’t overthink. You want to open your mind like a child. I read a study once where researchers asked both children and adults what they thought a blot was on a piece of paper. It should come as no surprise that the children generated many more answers than adults. You want to be in an open relaxed frame of mind when telling a story. Over-thought stories will miss the emotional mark because in their logical framing they lose some of their authenticity and humanness. And in addition to thinking more childlike, aim for some of that good old childhood enthusiasm as well, to further the emotional connection. Enjoy your story if you want others to do the same.

Come Prepared

Have the data and justification at hand. Yes, do also include some solid facts. These establish credibility. It’s very important to be seen as someone who is knowledgeable; someone who knows their stuff and not just someone that is fun, interesting, or even caring. The data, facts, and logic can be prepared ahead of time as opposed to the stories which should be ad-hoc as much as possible. In telling the story you could sprinkle in the data points, but I personally advise to either state them before any personal story or hold until afterward, so as not to in any way interrupt the natural humanity of the story.

Use Stories

Tell your stories (and no one else’s). Be sure your story has some relevance to the situation at hand. Relevance makes stories more advancing in nature, more catalytic. But understand sometimes the relevance is less important than being real. Your story should inform, but it can inform about you even if it less directly, or does not directly, inform about any item at hand. In the act of telling your story, people are often advised to ‘talk to the heart’.

This is good advice but in truth, we are really talking to a different part of the brain – the emotional part. And that part has more resonance with who we are, which in turn ultimately drives behaviors, actions, and decisions. Understand in telling personal stories there is a risk. You have to accept the risk of opening up and revealing yourself. It is in being vulnerable that we are approachable and connectable. The quickest way to drop another’s defenses is to drop our own.

Relax!

Don’t sweat it. If your story missed the mark or was judged in some way not to your liking – OK, such is the nature of being real. You might feel uncomfortable or even embarrassed at the moment, but in the long run, I still argue you have built social capital. You have shown yourself to be human, which is far better than remaining unknown. To others, unknowns are riskier bets. Even if you don’t close a case, make a sale, or cause a decision on the spot – people remember you by telling stories. And in the end, you will feel better in being authentic than leaving yourself to other’s assumptions and misinterpretations. I personally find opening up with stories, hit or miss, is freeing. If nothing else I believe it has better connected me with the right people and weeded out those less appropriate to where I want to go.

In Summary (tl;dr)

Tell your stories. People may not remember all that you said, or perhaps not even your name, but they will remember the positive things about you by the way they were made to feel. And that is fuel to go forward.

Creepy Behavior Won’t Go Unnoticed

· ·

Okay, ladies, pull up a chair. I need to tell you something important about bad behavior at work.

You know that one guy you worked with that was kind of a creep? The one who ignored your contributions? Who interrupted you and talked down to you in meetings? The guy you never ever wanted to be alone with because you didn’t trust him. You knew if “something” happened, your word wouldn’t mean much against his.

Maybe you were warned by another woman in the office. Perhaps you pulled another woman aside to warn her about him. “Don’t have dinner with him on a business trip,” you said. “He’s not to be trusted.”

Women Watch Men’s Behavior

The guy thinks he is getting by with his behavior because he has too much power for you to call him out. Maybe other men don’t see it, but the women know what he’s up to. Why? We’ve been studying his actions, not his words. We watch all the men at work this way, Who can we trust? Who is downright dangerous?

Get a clear picture of him in your mind, even if it’s uncomfortable. Because I need to tell you something.

Here’s the Truth

Black and brown people have similar conversations about us, the wh*te women in the office. They see us when we erase, ignore, and sideline them. They document their conversations with us in case “something” happens. Our colleagues keep tabs on who is a true ally… and who isn’t. You may think you’re getting by with your behavior because you haven’t been called out. But your Black and brown colleagues what you’re up to. Because they’ve been watching your behavior, more than your words.

If you want people to trust you, be the ally you claim to be. Your actions over time —your pattern of behavior— determine the story others tell about you. Choose them wisely.

Pink-Collar Jobs

· ·

Gender imbalance in the workplace is still the norm in many professions. Continued societal conditioning and bias play key roles. Many still see separate and distinct “jobs for women” and “jobs for men.” These beliefs have reinforced obstacles for gendered job migration. Jobs historically staffed by women are known as “pink-collar jobs.”

A Thought Experiment

Imagine two subway cars joined together. One car represents traditionally male-dominated jobs – for example, engineering. The other represents traditional female jobs – caregiving, for example. Historically, only men boarded the engineering car. Most women, being in positions of lesser power, deferred to men’s stature and stubborn positioning and boarded the second car. This was the norm year after year, stop after stop.

Through normal attrition, men and women left their cars. Occasionally there was movement between cars, with the rare woman boarding the first car, and the rarer man boarding the second. Over time, things began to change. More women pushed their way into the first car, while most men held kept their seats. This is how the patriarchy worked for years. Men held firmly to their seats; when they did make space, it was largely for other men.

The women who pushed themselves onto the crowded, male-dominated engineering car got in but seldom got a real seat – at least not without much effort. For one thing, the arrangement of the car favors males, creating a disadvantage for the women on board. Still, with effort and time, the balance has gradually shifted ever so slightly. Women are figuring out how to claim their seats in greater numbers.

The resulting image is largely of Car 1 with a lot of pushing and posturing. However, we lose sight of the dynamics happening in Car 2. The people in the second car, the caregiving car, largely sat still and were free of struggle.  In Car 2, there never was a space issue. Car 2 had plenty of room and plenty of seats – for either sex. If more people on Car 1 simply opted for Car 2, the struggle would be greatly lessened. Of course, many women still board Car 2,  but very few of the men do.

What Happens Next?

Space for more women necessitates that either (1) men are displaced through competition where there is little turnover, or (2) a number of men must voluntarily take up positions more traditionally held by females. Women ‘leaning in’ can’t alone dismantle the deep structural inequities. What is needed is for men to ‘lean out’ – and make space by choosing alternate seating.

Suppose that a number of men in this imaginary situation did voluntarily leave Car 1? The balance would not be pushing and bumping but rather balanced flow – equal numbers of men of women wandering onto either car in near equal numbers. To make that a reality, we need only get a number of men to opt for Car 2.

It can be a tough sell, however, and will require some imaginative solutions to truly balance roles. For one thing, we are fighting a situation that has become ingrained over a long period of time. This has caused deep-rooted persistent tendencies.

Nature vs. Nurture

In studies of communal-style communities, such as kibbutz, where people are entirely free to choose occupations and where gender neutrality is a goal, 70 to 80 percent of women still choose occupations in which they work with other people and children, especially caregiving and education. Men still gravitate to work in the fields, construction, and maintenance. Fewer than 18 percent of men cared to work with children or the elderly. An anomaly? Statistics say that in richer countries with better education, more favorable gender laws, more equal pay, more sociable acceptable mixing of genders in careers, in short, more free choices, more women still choose non-masculine and non-male-dominated careers.

These preferences are wrought from comfort – what has been made comfortable for women and what has been made comfortable for men over time. Often we see the side of the argument that says that men are too stubbornly comfortable in Car 1 to leave it without at the same time seeing there are many ways Car 2 is not yet made comfortable for men.

Part of male comfort is that of practicality. Men still often take the jobs that pay the most because they need, or feel they need, to be the primary breadwinner. And the amount of pay greatly disfavors going to the pink car. Car 2 lacks value, real and perceived, as a result of historically rewarding men in Car 1. Car 2 is painted pink and given the pejorative name – pink-collar jobs. The color and the word itself – pink – are synonymous with weak and of less value in our society.

Moving Men into Pink Collar Jobs

Pay disparity, however, could be rectified through equal pay legislation among other things. We need only commit to adding appropriate value to undervalued professions such as teaching.

The bigger hurdle is male social pressure. Even in these times men are not only not encouraged toward Car 2 – they are, more often than not, discouraged. Men are still given funny looks (by both sexes) when they board Car 2. And the future is not encouraging.

While there is much movement to get girls into STEM, for example, there’s been no movement to get men into pink jobs. Public encouragement, like that of Girls in Stem initiatives, aimed at getting men to consider non-male-traditional jobs could make a lot of space for women in Car 1. But again, the reason such encouragement is absent is deeply ingrained societal masculine and feminine ideals. Consider how many reading this article have pushed females to move to Car 2, but at the same time have kept mum about what jobs males might pursue?

Until men are encouraged in some way to ride Car 2, actually enticed to go into caregiving professions for example, and openly accepted there, Car 1 will remain crowded with seats at a premium, and men still sitting stubbornly and not giving way without a struggle.

Very few see gender balance in this way. Rather than dealing with the pink car, the focus remains on the blue one. An exception to this is Norway. Norway has long been a leader in gender equality.  But the country wants to go even further. An increasing number of men have now been given incentives and are taking up traditionally female jobs – especially in the nursing and childcare sectors. Incentives are exactly what is needed.

The Role of Organizations

Organizations need to embrace this example.  As much as an organization may want to recruit and hire female engineers, they need to first account for the space. It’s very difficult for organizations to have more female engineers or CEOs until they have more male administrative professionals. Only so many majority-dominated jobs open each year, while at the same time male favoring structures compound the issue of limiting Car 1 access to females. Organizations may have to take up the mantle and incentivize pink-collar jobs for men. If not, then it is left to slow-moving governments, or slower moving societal perspectives.

There is a tipping point in seeing gender roles differently, one that is helped along by leveraging role models in the workplace, as another solution. If we could get more cross-overs between cars these can be leveraged through visibility. As it stands more males pursue science because they believe themselves better at it since science has had a male face. However, in studies where both women and men were shown photographs of other people in other roles (e.g., doctor, police) and then asked to list their own traits, rather than noting what traits they might already possess, they identified traits more aligned with what they saw. Their own self-concept changed through imagery alone. The more we see images of women engineers or male caregivers, the more it becomes acceptable on both conscious and unconscious levels. In the same way, we are using images of females in stem we need to use more images of male nurses, teachers, etc.

Training as a Tool for Equity

Another solution is training. Masculine and feminine (socialized) traits can play a large role in career selection. For example, empathy being practiced and evidenced in more females makes it more likely that women will select careers where empathy is an asset, such as caregiving. In fact, in the field of medicine, women choose pediatrics much more often than men do and the result is an imbalance in that field. This can be changed however … change one’s skill set and one’s preferences may change also. Take empathy for example. Once empathy is mastered as a product of training and/or practice, career options expand both in preference and in opportunity. Just like mastering the skill of swimming may lead a person to become a lifeguard. If we trained empathy in men, for example, they might feel more inclined to seek more caregiving jobs.

Pink Collar Jobs: In Summary

These are just a few ideas to consider in tackling job inequalities. We can continue to work on issues in the blue car, but we must also acknowledge and address issues with the pink car as well to fully achieve equity.

Let’s first start with raising awareness by sharing articles such as this.

By David S Rowell

Author of Value and Voice – Solutions to Organizational Gender Balance

david@parityconsultant.com

Attract Diverse Talent To Your Company

· ·

Creating an inclusive team is not easy, but it is something that most companies are now expected to do. Diversity is not just a fad—it is an important tool that can boost your bottom line. When you attract diverse talent to your company, you become more innovative. A diverse team benefits from a wider range of views and ideas. Who knows? One of these ideas might turn out to be the next big thing. 

Indeed, a recent LinkedIn survey showed that diversity is the number one global recruiting trend. And a recent Boston Consulting Group study suggested that diversity represents a real competitive advantage. According to BCG, “increasing the diversity of leadership teams leads to more and better innovation and improved financial performance.”

Expand Your Talent Pool

Look for candidates with different backgrounds, cultures, ages and sexual orientations. Prioritize the hiring of veterans, people with autism, LGBTQI, people over 40, and people with disabilities to expand your talent pool.

Putting out a regular job ad won’t do the trick. After all, these groups are already underrepresented. You have to seek these candidates out purposefully.

Emphasize Diversity on Your Job Description

Your job description should say that your company prioritizes the hiring of people from underrepresented groups. This will encourage more people from these groups to send in their applications.

While on the topic of job descriptions, remember to use inclusive language. For example, avoid gender-specific terms like “he” or “she” and use instead neutral terms like “the candidate” or “they.”

Diversify Advertising Channels

To attract diverse talent, post your job description in magazines and forums frequently visited by underrepresented groups. Examples include Diversity Working, which is the largest online diversity job board, and Hire Autism, a job board made for individuals on the autism spectrum.

Other excellent options are Hire Purpose (a job board for veterans, service members and military spouses), Recruit Disability (a job board for job seekers who have disabilities) and 70 Million Jobs (a job board for candidates who have a criminal record).

Partner Up With Diversity Organizations

There are several organizations out there that can help you attract diverse talent to your team.

Code2040 is a nonprofit that fights the systemic exclusion of Black and Latino communities from the tech sector. Its mission is to dismantle barriers to entering the tech industry and climbing up the corporate ladder. To carry out its mission Code2040 connects techies in early professional stages with mentors, prospective employees and peers. 

Black Girls Code seeks an end to the underrepresentation of African-American women in tech by providing education to girls. Founded in 2011, BGC has programs in computer programming, coding, website, robot and mobile application development. Its ultimate goal is to equip African Americans with the skills they need to make an impact in the industry.

Coding Bootcamps 

Every year, millions of newly minted professionals join the ranks of tech companies around the world. Many of them are just coming out of a coding bootcamp, a short but intense program that teaches the learner everything they need to enter the industry. With thousands of graduates obtaining their diploma each month, coding bootcamps are a great place to look for diverse talent.

In addition, the schools that hold these programs like to partner up with local startups and enterprises to place their students. Recruiters would be wise to turn to their nearest bootcamp to headhunt top talent.

There are many great coding bootcamps across the US, but some of our favorite ones include Hack Reactor, Galvanize and Kenzy Academy. Hack Reactor, for example, has campuses in San Francisco, New York City, Los Angeles, Austin, Denver, Boulder, Seattle and Phoenix. The school also offers online programs. Hack Reactor covers Computer Science Fundamentals, Full Stack App Development and Production-Grade Engineering.

These are some basic ways your company can attract diverse talent. Diversity is already a priority for the biggest companies around the world. So make sure it is also a focus for your own firm.

When Remote Work Stops Being Inclusive

· ·

Remote work has evolved from being a trendy workplace dynamic to a full-fledged business strategy. However, another prominent – and unfortunate – trend is a lack of diversity in the workplace. Diversity is a critical success factor, and many business leaders may think that having a remote workforce is the be-all and end-all of this. Since location matters very little, companies are not limited by geographic constraints. This gives a guise of hiring diversely – but diversity is not exactly akin to inclusivity.

Spotting the Signs of Exclusion

With remote work having little to no physical contact, it may be harder to spot employees who are feeling lonely and isolated. Workplace loneliness is a very real possibility, and according to a study by Ozcelik and Barsade, employees who are lonely may have a drop in job performance and more inconsistent outputs. Your company likely has its preferred communications channels, so look out for those who don’t always reach out or who are reluctant to accepting assistance. When you hire new employees who you have yet to meet in person, you also have to be particularly attuned to this from the start of the onboarding process.

Crowdsourcing Matters

On ‘When Do You Feel Included?’ we emphasized the importance of the Platinum Rule – treating others the way they want to be treated. The definition of employee wellness differs from company to company. You will be able to understand your organization’s own interpretation of this if you simply ask your members. Pain Free Working has collated tips for employee wellness strategies from existing organizations, with one being the implementation of programs that team members specifically ask for. It’s important to get a general pulse of where everyone is at – how they have been managing and what they need to show up and perform better. The only way you will know what will work is to regularly conduct employee feedback through surveys and Casino en ligne bonus.

Allyship and Remote Work

For new employees, create a more personal onboarding processes by assigning buddies or mentors who can help with assimilation. In fact, assigning everyone a partner with whom they can check-in on could be a permanent practice in your company. This is related to what CEO of The Memo LLC Minda Harts describes as allyship. Having colleagues who vet and advocate for one another is a clear sign of inclusivity. Don’t forget to show your gratitude once in a while too. It does not take much to acknowledge, commend, and give credit when and where it is due. Employees need to know that their work is being valued and that they are critical members of your team. Therefore, expressing your feedback is a critical step toward ensure that they feel included and seen.

The modern workforce brings with it with modern challenges, ushering in the need for people who can lead with empathy. This is the opportunity for leaders to step up and truly analyze how well they have been treating their employees. You can never go wrong with constantly willing yourself to improve. When you couple sincere intentions with clear-cut strategies for inclusion, your business can succeed like never before.