• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
Lead at Any Level®

Lead at Any Level®

Essential Skills for Inclusive Leaders

  • Home
  • Programs
  • ⭐NEW! Online Courses⭐
  • Books
  • Articles
  • About Us
  • Book Amy
    • Invite Amy to Be a Guest on Your Podcast
    • Be a Guest on Our “See It to Be It” Interview Series
  • Client Portal
  • Show Search
Hide Search

5 Easy Ways to Show Respect for Trans People

Amy C. Waninger · 2017-12-03 · 1 Comment

Author’s note: This article is adapted from my book, Network Beyond Bias.

You don’t need to understand someone to show respect for them. Respect can be defined as “to feel or show polite or courteous responses to the wishes or judgments of others.”  For trans and nonbinary individuals, respect means acknowledging and accepting their identities. Even if you don’t understand what terminology to use or how to show support, you can still demonstrate respect. In other words, be polite and courteous.

Here’s how:

1. Use Correct Names

Use each individual’s correct name, and ensure you are pronouncing it correctly. Ask as many times as you need to get it right.

What if the person standing in front of you were the CEO of your company, or the child of the CEO. Would it still be hard to get their name right? I’m guessing not.

2. Pronouns Show Respect

Use each individual’s correct pronouns. This can be tricky, especially if the pronouns are new to you. If you mess up, apologize and try again. When in doubt, ask. You are also usually safe using they / them / their.

Pro tip: Imagine that for one day your boss, your peers, and everyone else refused to use the pronouns that identify you. Would you laugh it off, even if they knew it bothered you?

3. Context Is Important

Keep in mind that some people may present themselves differently depending on the context. For example, one nonbinary individual I know (pronouns: ve, vim, vir) presents as female and uses vir legal name and the pronouns she/her/hers at work, because ve fears the repercussions of being out professionally. The same individual presents as nonbinary and uses a masculine name in vir personal life.

Take your cues from the individual, and ask if you’re unsure.

4. Deriding People Makes You Look Like a Grade-A Jerk

Never, ever, ever use “it” to refer to a person, and never, ever, ever make someone’s identity the subject of ridicule, whether they can hear you or not. Dehumanizing people is never respectful, never appropriate, and never inclusive. You will only live to regret having been an ignorant, disrespectful jerk.

I know, because I used to be an ignorant, disrespectful jerk. I’ve since evolved into a slightly less ignorant, regretful, recovering jerk. It’s not much, but it’s a start. I share this for two reasons. First, I want you to know that it’s not too late to educate yourself and do better. Second, I can’t apologize directly to people who may have overheard me being insensitive. I can’t take it back. But I can admit that I was wrong and do better. So I am.

5. Safety Is Paramount

Do not “out” anyone as trans or nonbinary. Use each person’s correct name and pronouns, and leave it at that. Remember, for many trans and nonbinary individuals, being outed can threaten their safety, their income, their housing situation, and their health.

Career, Communication, Diversity, Leadership, Network Beyond Bias, networking

About Amy C. Waninger

Amy C. Waninger works with organizations that want to build leadership bench strength from a diverse talent population. She is the author of numerous books, including "Network Beyond Bias: Making Diversity a Competitive Advantage for Your Career." Amy is a Certified Diversity Professional, a Professional Member of National Speakers Association, a Certified Virtual Presenter, and a Prosci Certified Change Practitioner. Her other credentials include two degrees from Indiana University and a "World’s Best Mom" coffee mug.

Reader Interactions

Trackbacks

  1. Microaggressions: You SHOULD Sweat the Small Stuff! | Lead at Any Level says:
    2017-12-14 at 4:20 PM

    […] write “The Papercut Chronicles” to share some of my own experiences…and transgressions. (In the meantime, I’d love to hear some of your “Did they really just say […]

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Lead at Any Level®

Copyright © 2023 · Lead at Any Level, LLC. All rights reserved.