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allyship

A Tennis Legend’s Unforced Error

Amy Waninger · 2021-06-01 ·

Last week, tennis champion Naomi Osaka explained that she would not participate in post-match interviews during the French Open. The pressure of the game was enough. The scrutiny of the press, a fear of public speaking, and a long struggle with anxiety and depression represented a clear and present danger to Osaka’s health. She made her statement, and she kept her word.

The Grand Slam organization fined her $15,000 after her first violation. The rules, they said, “ensure all players are treated exactly the same.” Osaka ultimately withdrew from the French Open for her own health. Treating everyone “exactly the same” isn’t the same as being inclusive.

A Tennis Legend’s Unforced Error

In 1973, Billie Jean King fought to be treated exactly the same in the sport of tennis. In the Battle of the Sexes, she showed that she could defeat a male tennis champion. But did she, as ESPN suggests, “win for all women“? I think not.

Over the weekend, she took to Twitter to remind Osaka that she must “make herself available” to the press. This seemingly innocuous advice suggests that Osaka lacks agency and is not entitled to set boundaries for herself. “Be available to the press. Toughen up.” In other words, be complicit in your own abuse.

It reeks of the tightrope young women are constantly asked to walk:

  • “Be available, but not too available.”
  • “You’d be prettier if you’d smile.”
  • “You knew what you were getting into. You were asking for it.”

In short, King’s advice says, “You must accept that you will be abused, that you deserve to be abused, and that your suffering is nothing compared to how others may benefit from it.”

What good is equal treatment if that treatment is abuse? Changing the sport requires something to actually change.

Missing the Baseline for Decency

Last weekend, Billie Jean King could have remembered what it was like for her when everyone wanted her to fail because she was different. She could have summoned empathy and wanted better for a young woman who came after her. 

Ms. King could have thought critically about the parallels between patriarchy and white supremacy. She could have imagined the intersectionality and oppression experienced by a young Black, Japanese woman in a moment defined by its anti-Black and anti-Asian violence. 

Ms. King could have considered for a moment that the pressure of athletic performance compounded with the pressure of media savvy in an always-on news cycle would be exacerbated by someone who is shy, let alone someone with a disclosed anxiety disorder. 

Ms. King could have chosen allyship by speaking up for Naomi Osaka. She could have chosen compassion. Or kindness. Or even, at the very least, silence. But she chose to side with the entitled machine of racism-, ableism-, and patriarchy-for-profit. 

The tennis legend should be ashamed. She spent decades as an icon of what women can achieve. This weekend, she chose to serve as a reminder of how often (white) women choose betrayal over sisterhood. Naomi Osaka is a champion who dared to prioritize her own well-being. In contrast, Billie Jean King is a coward who chose her own comfort.

Raise a Racket!

Before we think we are above such behavior, we must ask ourselves some uncomfortable questions:

  • Did I see someone struggling within my own environment and sit on the sidelines?
  • Have I denounced someone for failing to follow “the rules” that were designed to keep them complicit in their own abuse?
  • Did I fail to speak up, challenge the system, or offer compassion?

To Be a Leader, Be an Ally

Amy C. Waninger · 2018-07-18 · Leave a Comment

Do You Aspire to Be a Leader?

If you aspire to be a leader, you’re not alone. So many corporate employees aspire to leadership roles in their organizations. They seek out high-profile projects, promotions, and executive sponsors. To really stand out in a company, though, you need to stand for something other than your own self-interest. Specifically, you can position yourself as a leader in your organization by being an ally to others.

Author’s Note: This article is also posted on Living Corporate’s blog and via Living Corporate on Medium. If this topic interests you, don’t miss Episode 06: #Help from Living Corporate Podcast. Rate, review, and share the Living Corporate Podcast to help others find this extraordinary resource.

You Have More Power Than You Realize

Many of us are tricked into thinking that because we marginalized in some way, we cannot (or need not) be allies for others. You have more power than you realize. You may lack privilege in some situations. But there are countless ways you may be taking your own privilege for granted.

Recognize Your Relative Power

I’ve compiled a list of examples, organized alphabetically, to help stimulate your thinking.

If you are… you can be an ally to…

  • Able-bodied … people with disabilities, chronic illness, chronic pain, and/or mobility issues
  • Black, Latinx, Asian, Native American … Each other
  • Cisgender … transgender and nonbinary individuals
  • Employed … people who are unemployed or underemployed, independent contractors
  • Female … men and nonbinary individuals
  • Gay or Lesbian … people who identify as bisexual/pansexual
  • Hearing … people who are deaf or hard of hearing
  • Heterosexual … LBGTQ individuals
  • High school or college graduate … someone without formal education
  • Industry insider … someone new to your company or industry
  • Literate … someone who cannot read
  • Male … women and nonbinary individuals
  • Middle- or upper-class … the poor, the working poor, people who are or who have been homeless
  • Millennial, Gen Z, Gen X, Boomers … Other generations
  • Native English speaker … someone for whom English is a second language
  • Neurotypical … people on the Autism spectrum, people with mental illness
  • Non-caregivers … people caring for adults with physical or intellectual disabilities, people caring for elderly parents or parents with dementia
  • Non-veterans … veterans and active-duty military personnel
  • Not in prison … people in prison or with a criminal record
  • Parent … people without children (and vice versa); partnered parents can also be allies to single parents
  • Safe at home … someone in an abusive relationship
  • Seeing … people who are blind
  • Sober … people with addictions to drugs, alcohol, or prescription painkillers
  • White … people of color

Be Honest with Yourself

Can you identify one or more areas where you have more power than others (in other words, privilege)? Is there an identity, experience, or demographic group that you’ve noticed has been belittled, bullied, ignored, or excluded in your workplace?

Now be honest. Have you contributed to this abuse in the past? Or have you been complicit by staying silent when you know abuse is taking place? You may have missed opportunities to be an ally in the past. You may not have recognized that you had a role to play.

Where to Begin

Begin your ally journey by reading books, blogs, or magazine articles from the perspective of someone with a marginalized identity, demographic, or experience. Do this often. Soon, you’ll begin to see nuances in different people’s perceptions of the world from within a shared perspective.

Think critically about how different individuals would feel in the situations you’ve witnessed at work. You may not know yet how you will intervene in the future, but training yourself to recognize opportunities is a good start.

Build a Relationship

Next, imagine you’re having dinner with a famous person whose identity, experience, or demographics match those you seek to support. You would probably talk to them about their body of work, their family, their upcoming travel plans. You wouldn’t ask them to educate you about their experience of difference.

Now, can you imagine a similar conversation with a colleague? Invite them out for a cup of coffee and get to know them as a person.

Do the Work of a Leader

Finally, speak and act with courage. Leaders must be willing to do what is right, especially when doing so goes against the grain. When you speak up for others by addressing microaggressions or calling out blatant discrimination, you establish yourself as a person of integrity. Others will see you as a leader and an ally. And, in those times when you feel you are being cast aside, you might find that you have new champions who speak up for you.

After all, you’ll already have set an example for them to follow. And isn’t that what makes a leader?

Lead at Any Level®

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